R

There's always stories of pain and brokenness at my internship. Prior to stepping into the receiving home, inside my quiet car, I always ask God to allow me to witness what breaks His heart. I pray for a new individual with a new background to love and reach out to. I didn't expect much for the first few days at internship, and honestly not much happened, but lately I've been blown away with how God hears my requests.

Today, I was talking to a young girl who had run away from her abusive father. In the kitchen, she pointed out a black metal bar underneath a table and said her father would sometimes beat her and her siblings with something of similar size, weight, and shape. As I handed her some cup noodles and goldfish crackers, I was at a loss of words. I wondered how it felt to fear someone, of the same flesh and blood, who was supposed to love and cherish you.

Obviously all the years of mistreatment had made her bitter and angry. She quietly yet seriously expressed her hatred for the man, saying that she wanted him in jail so she could live with her mother; apparently her mother lived somewhere in the woods in Texas so that was a long shot. She was also clearly in need of much love and attention. She shared how her African-American father had a new African-American fiancee. She seemed to be apathetic about the whole engagement but aggressively stated that she would kill their baby if they were to have a child. Puzzled and extremely worried about her mental state, I asked her why she would ever think of committing such a violent act.

"My dad's fiancee is nice. I like her and she's what I want in a mom.. but the problem is that the new baby's gonna be full black. Well, I'm half-white and you know what'll happen? Everyone in public is gonna assume I'm adopted. I don't want to stick out like that. I don't want people to think I'm not really a part of the family."

Sweet child, if only we weren't confined within the walls of a state-funded nonprofit organization.. Oh how I would've joyfully shared the Good News with you. Alas, it's against the rules to actively and openly share your faith unless you're first asked.

I pray that one day you do see yourself of more worth. I pray that you would come to know what love really is (1 John 4:18: "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment"). Your identity is in Christ alone and you were fearfully and wonderfully made within His own hands. You are always welcomed, loved, and accepted in your Heavenly Father's arms. I am someone who can verify that.

I came to internship lacking sleep and energy from studying late for a genetics midterm (which I totally bombed) but came out feeling more thankful than ever. Even with the unusual overload of children during today's shift and early morning disappointments, I praise God for all that's He's doing with this heart of stone. I can feel it melting and pumping with love more and more each second.

K

I was singing along to "Be Glorified" by Tim Hughes in the empty comfort room. I felt like praising God for the wonderful talk I had just been a part of (written in my previous post).

The jolly security guard, who I always loved seeing since he looks like a huge teddy bear, suddenly came in with a lady that I usually work with. They seemed to be checking her niece's Facebook page.

"OOoOoh she beautiful! Dang what a woman!" the security guard would say as the lady put her niece up on a pedestal. Apparently the lady was a good matchmaker and had previously set up 13 successful couples together. This was her next project/mission.

After the security man had left, I curiously asked her about it. I'm not really sure exactly how the conversation went, but it unknowingly ended up on the subject of her recent divorce.

She shared how the man she had loved was influenced by a power-hungry cult that claimed to be a church. The authorities abused their power and attempted to control their marriage. The "church" stripped them of their money and property for their own personal use, such as buying themselves fancy cars. They also had these strange rules in which you had to abide by or else you would be considered unholy and a wretched, unforgivable sinner. In the end she couldn't take the drama and opted for the divorce, which the church had wanted all along since they disapproved of the marriage.

She currently has two children, one of them diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Her ex-husband, who is now autistic, lives in a separate room under the same house. She is the primary caretaker and breadwinner, even for the ex-husband. She cooks, cleans, and supports him financially since she promised her mother-in-law (who died in her arms!!!!!!!) that she would always take care of him.

Seeing this broken woman, who had suffered so much in her life, tore my heart apart. Because of this experience, she had turned away from Catholicism and religion altogether.

When my shift was over, I didn't have the heart to just walk out like I usually did. I couldn't think about leaving this lady alone when she had willingly spilled out all that was hurting inside of her. I wanted to give her a big, warm hug but I knew I was too awkward and shy to do so. I'm not exactly the type to be physically affectionate when it comes to comforting people. Instead, with a few words of encouragement I told her that God was with her throughout it all. In the end, there would be no more suffering and she would be rewarded for everything that she had to endure.

"Yes, I know God is watching over me. Although I may not have the best relationship with him right now, I still believe in His goodness and existence."

Discernment is so important. There are some corrupted people out there claiming to speak truth and do God's will when in reality they're ruining lives and unlawfully using His name. Know the Truth through God and His Spirit alone.

I'll also ask for prayer for this woman. She is definitely still in need of healing.

K

After a teenager had AWOLed during my first hour, there was nothing much to do around the facility. No kids, no mess, no laundry, no errands. I resorted to reading the "Book of World Records 2006" that was left on the children's table but that didn't last long. For the next half hour I was falling asleep, playing Temple Run, texting random people of how bored I was, and listening to music when I suddenly got interrupted by a staff member.

"Why do you volunteer here?" she firmly asked.

My heart started beating faster. I immediately assumed that this lady viewed me as a lazy volunteer who just wanted to get hours to boost up the old resume.

"Uh, I want to pursue a career in human services or social work and I thought I could use the experience," I replied, sounding unsure of myself.

She suggested that I interact with the social workers within the facility to familiarize myself with what the job entails. I gave a silent and hesitant chuckle.

"So... what made you interested in doing social work?"

Heart attack #2. I don't know what it is about this lady that scared me so much. Maybe it was her extroverted, in-your-face personality that I didn't feel too comfortable with. Every second spent talking to her made me want to sink into my chair and slowly slither away.

Gulp.

"Well, I realized that I don't want to live comfortably serving myself. I don't want a job that just makes a lot of money. I believe that won't make me happy and it's not the way I measure success. I want a career that's rewarding and fulfilling, one that'll impact and change lives. There are so many people out there that aren't as blessed as I am and I feel the need to do something about that."

Then I saw something light up on her face. With a huge smile, she simply replied, "that's a wonderful reason."

She shared how she had gotten involved at the receiving home. What really touched me was the genuine love she had for her work. She loved the kids that she engaged with, especially the emotionally traumatized teenagers who were given the least amount of attention. She said it was an honor to help them and even got a bit teary-eyed while stumbling across her words. I couldn't help but feel something pierce my heart while she attempted to talk without choking. I knew, at that moment, that this was what I wanted.

JWon & Co.

My first time eating something other than thai fries at Uncle Vito's.

Ra(wo)men

Small group dinner at Shoki's Ramen House. Too bad I was sick :/ Couldn't taste much of it.

Speak:

The Big Picture

“God is faithful, and when our little bit of faith intersects with His faithfulness, God shows up big and does some amazing things in us, and through us.”

V-Day

Chef Edmond's cooking + a movie at home :)

Tiff's Surprise

A warm embrace in the back and a lonely boy in the front

SO CUTE. Drove 3 hours just to deliver these to her.




You deserve them roses

Change

I'm not sure if this captures how my hair really looks like.

Back to Reality AKA Davis

Went to get some breakfast after Edmond picked me up from the airport


Leftovers eaten during our mini picnic


This is what you get for refusing to take a normal picture


I love reading in the sun


Grumpy chinese man doesn't want to be disturbed. It's okay though. He's tired because he woke up early for me. SUCKAAAA :D


You need some new pants. Fashion police is gonna come after you.


Spontaneous hair dyeing session


In the process of becoming Ariel


Hmm, that looks like ______ hehehe


So pretty!

Weekend Back Home

SMF remodeled! Too bad I was in a rush. Could've taken better pictures.




Ran into Ruth at the airport! If we'd known earlier, we could've sat next to each other :/ I ended up sitting next to these 2 strangers who got to know each other very quickly (which is cool, I guess) and were way too loud while watching the Lakers game. Couldn't sleep or read without being interrupted by an unnecessary high-five or some other sudden outburst.




Hi, AJ. I missed you. You're a lot skinnier and hairier than before.


Good dog. He knows not to move or whine.


California Fish Grill with Susan


Fish tacos! I am so hungry right now..


Frostbites


Getting ready to take a family picture


First time having to walk to my plane


Empty plane ride = more comfort! I love how Jetblue spoils you with extra leg room, free tv, and yummy snacks. This is the first trip ever where I haven't fallen asleep while on board. Southwest, I hope I never have to take you again.

Oh, College. Oh, Procrastination.

5 hours of sleep napping within the last 51 (and counting) hours. I can't wait for it to be 4PM.

Short but Sweet SF Trip

3 hours of sleep (and none for him!), 6AM breakfast at McDonald's, California Academy of Sciences, Golden Gate Park, and a surprise picnic at the beach = our 11 months. Thanks for the best study break ever. :)